WHO WILL WEEP FOR US? (Jeremiah 9: 17-25)

by Simone Oliver

I began a journey through the book of Jeremiah about two weeks ago starting, as I always do, at the beginning.  Try as I might I can’t seem to get past chapter 9 which calls for the skillful wailing women to take up a wailing for the city.  The women are called to mourn and take up lamentation and God uses them prophetically to call the people to repentance.  “Yet hear the work of the Lord, O women, and let your ear receive the word of His mouth; Teach your daughters wailing, and everyone her neighbor a lamentation.  For death has come through our windows, has entered our palaces, to kill off the children – no longer to be outside! And the young men – no longer on the streets!” (Jer. 9: 20-21) I thought immediately about Jamyla Bolden, the 9 year old girl who recently died when random bullets entered her home while she was doing her homework on her mother’s bed.  I thought of the hundreds of black and brown bodies killed by law enforcement and by others… sometimes by others who look just like them.  I thought about the number of Trans and gay sisters and brothers who have lost their lives because others don’t think they have a right to live and be who they are in the world… and then I wept… uncontrollably… I wept… consumed with grief… I wept… like Jesus… I wept.  The groaning of my spirit seemed as dark and abysmal as the tears were hot and wet.  Suddenly and without warning I spoke these works, “But who will weep for us?”  

As we weep for others, who will weep for us?

• 46 percent of African American women over 20 years of age have hypertension, only 31 percent of white women and 29 percent of Latino women in the same ago group do.
• African American women have a higher mortality rate from breast cancer.  Every year 1,722 African American women die from this disease.  
• Chlamydia and gonorrhea infections are 19 times higher for African American women than white women.  
• African American women represent 65 percent of new AIDS diagnoses among women. 
• African American women are four times more likely to die for pregnancy related causes and have the highest rate of premature births. 
•  About 29.1 percent of African American females are victimized by intimate partner violence in their lifetime (rape, physical assault or stalking).   
•   African American females experience intimate partner violence at a rate of 35% more than that of white women and about 2.5 times the rate of women of other races.  However, they are less likely than white women to use social services, battered women’s programs or go to the hospital because of domestic violence.
• While white women earn 78.1 cents to the dollar when compared with white, non-Latino men, African American women earn 64 cents. 
• The poverty rate for African American women is 28.6 percent compared to white, non-Latino women which is 10.8 percent.  
• African American and Latina women are 3 times more likely to be incarcerated than white women.  

As we weep for others, who will weep for us?  We are being choked by the socially constructed shame and silence that accompanies the pain of womanhood.  We are being suffocated by the myth and the weight of being strong black women.  Who will weep for us as we grieve and lament the violence done to our brothers and sisters? Who will weep for us as we agonize over the affliction of our children?  Who will weep for us? Tears. Trials. Mourning. Misery. Suffering. Sickness. Depression. Distress. Worry. Woe. Torture. Trouble.  Who. Will. Weep. For. Us?

Gather the women.  Gather the women together that they might heal and let their tears be the ointment of cure.  In “The Miracle of Tears”, author Jerry Berman describes how the phenomenon of crying heals us physiologically, psychologically and spiritually.  While the wailing women gathered to mourn for others, the gathering and tears were beneficial for themselves.

• One of the properties of tears is that tears help us to see.  Literally.  Tears lubricate the eyeballs and prevent dehydration which allows us to see.  If we are to see our own brokenness, those issues we have buried and kept silent we must do so in a safe and sacred community of women who will help us re-imagine ourselves in new and powerful ways that will enable us to rewrite our stories. 
• Tears remove toxins that build up in our bodies as a result of stress.  We must be careful to remove ourselves from toxic environments and toxic people for the healing of our own souls.  We must be keepers of our own peace.  
• Crying can elevate the mood.  Who knew that elevated levels of manganese (whatever that is!) can cause us to feel anxious, nervous, irritable, fatigued?  No, you are not crazy!  Go ahead and indulge yourself in a good cry.  
• Tears build community.  Often tears compel us to reach out to comfort others, lending support to others sometimes we don’t even know and allows us to exchange a deep level of intimacy.  We should be intentional about building these safe and sacred communities among ourselves.

Who will weep for us?  While we weep for the horrific violence, the bloody carnage that surrounds us all, who will weep for us? We are brutalized and traumatized daily.  Not only by a system that believes we are of little value but by those we love and care for – those we cherish and long for. We who weep for others must #StayWoke.  We must intentionally create safe, sacred spaces where we can weep, heal, be restored and recover our wholeness.  After all, #BlackLivesMatter.

Simone Oliver has journeyed from tragedy to triumph, from victim to victor, and from surviving to thriving after a horrific, violent attempt to end her life.  She is a passionate preacher, educator, and advocate for women who is committed to the spiritual care of women and girls, bringing healing to their wounded hearts through God's grace.

Simone is Executive Director of New Day Ministries, Inc. which she founded with her husband, Allen, to combat gender-based violence and create safe sanctuaries in all churches.