WE SHALL OVERCOME- THE REMIX

by Deirdre Simmons

This is not your grandmother's Negro spiritual; the holding hands and swaying kind of we shall overcome.  It is not someday, it is today.  It is recognizing our collective 2016 mountains and personal valleys.  It is not passive.  This is a Beyoncé awaking, I can't breathe, why all this for no turn signal, 9 dead in a church, and a mentally unstable deranged bigot wants the White House kinda we shall overcome. This is overcoming crime and the accompanying helicopters in our hoods, the morally corrupt in power, and a demonizing of God's people.  It is the focus on testing versus learning and the dumbing down of our babies kinda we shall overcome.  It's the movement to reinterpret and change the word of God about marriage.  It's the inner voice saying you have no voice, it's our addictions, our anger, our mental instabilities, which by the way, we refuse to acknowledge much less seek help.  Listen, it’s national, it's local, and it's personal.  

We have been put on notice-it's formation time.  So, how do we overcome in a time when we are out of step, out of touch, and so many are out of line?  Here is the charge for overcoming: Fuel hope, build faith, and do the work.

Wilderness moments are when things are darkest and the outlook is bleak. Stop and reflect on some of those times.  Call out the trauma by name.  Now, take a slow cleansing breath and realize He has brought us through it all.  He is the same God now that He was as He comforted us through the pain.  In Psalm 119 verse 90, we are assured that God's faithfulness endures through all generations.  Fuel your hope knowing we have collectively and individually overcome: we will again.

As you strengthen your mind and spirit through prayer and study, surround yourself with people who truly have your best interest at heart: you are building your faith.  Have you heard someone say God knows my heart as an excuse for not going to church or actively participating in the building of their faith?  When we study the word, engage in learning together and prayer, it's like constructing the armor before the fight.  Hold fast to your hope and don't discount how important it is to get together to stir up some love and good works (Hebrews 10: 23-25).  We wouldn't wait until we are in the midst of a conflict to build up protection.  Get your sword, your breastplate, helmet, et.al, together, now.  

Faith without works is dead.  You've got to put in the work.  There are no shortcuts.  If it is changing the landscape of a nation or your personal healing (and everything in between) do the work. We can learn and be inspired by others' stories: Nehemiah rebuilt his city that was in ruins and the woman with the issue of blood put in the work  She made her way to where she knew her healing could occur.  She reached out her hand and spoke up.  Daniel is falsely accused and put in a lion’s den yet he remained loyal, Joseph's life was the "pits", and Shiphrah and Puah worked in their gifts and made a safe passage for babies putting their own lives in jeopardy. They were all on assignment.  What's your assignment?  God does some of His best work in situations that look bleak: times when we can't see the victory.  People will discourage, distract or try to destroy you.  We are on assignment: don't get sidetracked. Do the work. 

Reflect and remember the trials of the past and how we have overcome. Get together and build your faith; seek out help when you need it.   As we are closing our discussion on overcoming, I want you to refer you to someone's story.  In the book “Until The Brighter Tomorrow" by Valerie Rainford, she recounts some of the difficulties and tragedies in her life.  Be inspired and sure of the fact:

We shall overcome...

Deirdre Simmons, PHR, SHRM-CP, entrepreneur, past president of SHRM Gateway, and most important role-wife, began Cast Your Net on the Right Side #NowWhat non-profit to bring a relationSHIPS dialogue to the community. This God-given vision provides biblically based practical instruction for men and women on everyday living while edifying participants.  There are 2 other business under the cast your net brand: Cast Your Net Travel and Smoove Stones.

This graduate of Purdue University is also an EEO Advisor, has a certification in HR and is currently enrolled at UCONN.

The former Deirdre Cash has been married to chef, trainer, chaplain, Minister Jerry Simmons for 6 1/2 years.  She has worked as a servant leader in several ministries however, wife is her first ministry.

WHEN TROUBLE COMES

by Simone Oliver

¹⁰But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you.  ¹¹To Him be the glory and the dominion forever and ever. Amen (1 Peter 5:10,11)

We live in a culture that I jokingly call, “Fakin’ Worship”.  It seems that the Praise and Worship movement that has overtaken our churches, has created an atmosphere of false humility and false faithfulness.  We have perfected empty clichés:  I am blessed and highly favored.  I am too blessed to be stressed. And when the choir starts to sing, Chile, we lift our hel…, hol… (whatever) hands. You know, it seems like er’ body is walking in the favor of the Lord and we got to get our “praise on”!  We don’t even grieve at funerals anymore!  Somehow to cry is to be faithless and unbelieving, but I know that he who loves much also grieves much.  Certainly we know we shall see our loved ones again, but for the moment, the loss is great and no one should feel ashamed or guilty for expressing their grief.  Have you ever noticed how people are expected to praise their way through everything?  Listen, I love to worship, really I do!  BUT, I also know that life brings us trouble; it doesn’t always feel good and no one should feel compelled to “praise” in their pain because often the best praise we can bring to the altar is our tears.

Do you remember The Five Heartbeats?  Who doesn’t like that movie?!?  Well, I can’t think of anyone!  Most of us enjoy stories of challenge and triumph -- of overcoming and beating the odds and certainly good music helps; but, there is one line in the movie that had an impact so great that I have never forgotten it  Do you remember Duck’s acceptance speech?  “A critic said, ‘Donald Mathews will be a great writer one day when he suffers more.’ And I said to myself, what does that mean? Now I know what it means.”  Is suffering really valuable?  Apparently God thinks so.  Jesus often spoke of what he would suffer and what those who followed him would suffer, but the truth be told, adversity will find you whether you love Jesus or not and whether you believe it has value or not.  It’s just a part of life.

Let’s face it.  Life is life and there are only two things we can be sure of.  The first is that we are not getting out alive and the second is that adversity does not discriminate.  That, along with sin, is the greatest equalizer of human kind.  All have sinned and all will suffer.  Job (14:1) said in this way: Man is born of a woman is of few days and full of trouble.  But some suffer to bitterness and some suffer to “better-ness”.  We often wonder how some persons face what seems like insurmountable obstacles and not only survive them but remains pleasant, graceful and productive while others face fewer obstacles and their lives spiral downward and they are left stagnant, hateful, and toxic.  Well, I think it comes down to how well we choose to suffer.  I know, I know!   It seems that suffering and well should not be in the same sentence.  We can’t pick our suffering, but we can choose how we’ll respond to it.  I’d like to give you five necessary keys to suffering well so that you can be honest and left better rather than bitter.

1.       Acknowledge your pain.  Name your pain and give yourself permission to feel it.  Be as kind and gracious with yourself as you are with others.  God understands the messiness of humanity; you don’t have to pretend to have an unshakable faith.  We all shake in the midst of adversity.  You can count on having some bad days.  Honestly, you won’t disappoint God if you don’t have it together and your tears and disappointment are not a measure of your faith.

2.      Trust that God has a plan.  Nothing sneaks up on God, God just can’t be surprised.  God knew about it before you did!  Many say that God never gives us more than we can bear, I don’t believe that.  God often gives up what we can’t bear so that God can bear it with us.  God walks with us in our pain.  God’s strength is made perfect in our weakness.  God is sovereign, just and faithful and has a plan for our lives.

3.      Be open to learning.  As my siblings and I transitioned from tweens to teens, my father was often heard telling one of us, “You’re going to have to buy your own sense on that one.”  What he was saying that there were some things in life that we were going to learn only from experience.  Adversity can be an opportunity for great growth if we are open to learning.  It has the potential to mature us and make us wise in ways that no other education can do. 

4.      Be patient.  All adversity passes.  Trouble doesn’t last always.  In the Bible, there are 182 occurrences of the word suffer and it’s various tenses and 522 occurrences of the word blessed and its various forms.  That lets me know that God’s blessings in our lives far outweigh our adversities.  So we can hope, even in the midst of pain because of who God is and What God promises. 

5.      Ask God to meet you in your pain.  It’s a process.  Getting over your disappointment, anger, bitterness and unforgiveness may take some time.  Keep praying about it and keep practicing.  Some days will be easier than others.  God has never called us to bear the burden along.  “What a friend we have in Jesus.  All our sins and grief to bear.  What a privilege it is to carry everything to God in prayer.”  This will compel you to worship!

 When you choose better instead of bitter, worship will naturally spring forth as you learn that God is walking with you in your pain.  When you choose better instead of bitter, God’s presence will bring you comfort, you will begin to glimpse a brighter tomorrow and you will know that you can patiently wait the good things God has in store for your future.  Kahlil Gibran said, “Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls.”  Yes you can be certain that through it all God will perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you—if you choose to be better instead of bitter.  

Simone Oliver has journeyed from tragedy to triumph, from victim to victor, and from surviving to thriving after a horrific, violent attempt to end her life.  She is a passionate preacher, educator, and advocate for women who is committed to the spiritual care of women and girls, bringing healing to their wounded hearts through God's grace.

Simone is Executive Director of New Day Ministries, Inc. which she founded with her husband, Allen, to combat gender-based violence and create safe sanctuaries in all churches.  

A FRIEND TO LEAN ON

1 Thessalonians 5:11

Therefore comfort each other and edify one another, just as you also are doing. (NKJV)

A while back I had a conversation with a friend about an old issue that I dealt with more than ten years ago now.  While I was talking I could feel my heart racing, muscles tensing, and I even started to get a slight headache.  I thought that I was over that thing.  I believed for a decade that I had overcome the situation that had hurt me to the core.  Truthfully, I had not overcome my past and was living daily as if it did not bother me.  My friend challenged me on what I had done to overcome the issue and the best I could come up with was that I tried not to think about it and thought that time would heal the wound.  When hearing myself give this explanation I realized that I had done nothing to really get over my past.  I had not done any worthwhile work in overcoming my pain and this was evident based on the agitation I felt when talking to my friend.  Naively I thought that putting something in the back of my mind would make things go away.  Sometimes when we are so hurt we forget everything that we know about moving forward and letting go. But those things have a way of resurfacing when we least expect them to.

My good friend encouraged me to pray, forgive my offender, share the core of my pain to someone, and to release myself from the chains that had me bound with God’s help.  Receiving affirmation and support from my friend was the start of me truly overcoming my past so that I could build better relationships in the future.  God showed me through her that I deserved to be healed and would be if I truly sought it.  Proverbs 12:25 says that anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, but a good word makes it glad. (NKJV)  At one point I would not have considered my issue as one that added anxiety to my life, but thank God for my friend who gave me a good word and motivated me to recognize a hidden problem.

As women seeking fulfillment through Christ it is important for us to help each other.  We should be willing to be a shoulder and ear to our sisters in need, and be willing to receive a word of encouragement.  Support systems are a essential to spiritual growth.  Even Jesus had a support system in his disciples and others that helped his ministry move forward, and he was the ultimate example for how we should live in spirit and truth.  Consider your spiritual circle for a moment.  Do you have a prayer partner, someone you can confide in that is spiritually mature, or a friend that will give you a truthful and encouraging word when you need it?  If the answer is no, how can you start to build these kinds of connections?  If the answer is yes, reflect on how those relationships have helped you overcome a difficult circumstance.  These relationships should also be reciprocated so I challenge you to become one who uplifts someone in need with love, prayer, or an encouraging word.  I recently challenged myself on this and recognized that I have always had the support of women in the form of a mother, sister, grandmother, friend, and other mother-like figures.  This is what has helped me to survive some of my darkest days.  I needed them to lean on and thank God that they were willing to be that for me.  Now I need to work on being more of an encouragement to other women who may need to hear a good word from the heart and the Lord.  I want to also be a friend that others can lean on.

Bill Withers’s Lean on Me is perfect for this moment.  If you are not familiar with the song click the bold title link above  Enjoy! And thank you for reading.  

Check the Blessed Chix Blog for new posts and always feel free to comment, ask questions, and make suggestions for future topics in the comment box below or by email at blessedchix@gmail.com.

In the meantime, love AND live.

N. Wilson

creator (Blessed Chix- the blog)

Nikitia (Niki) Wilson believes in the power of storytelling.  She founded Blessed Chix to fulfill the call that God gave her to reach, encourage, and inspire women and girls through testimonies of overcoming the odds.   Niki has dedicated her life and ministry to creating a platform where women can share  with each other in safe, nonjudgmental, and “come as you are” environments in order to find fullness in life and in love.  She is happily married to her husband Rev. Eli Wilson, III and resides in Metro New York where she is a librarian.  

Featured Blogger: MONIQUE JONES

Monique L. Jones is a mother, sister, daughter, teacher, and advocate for women and youth, aspiring writer and public intellectual. Monique earned a Bachelor of Arts degree in Political Science and African American Studies from Pepperdine University in Malibu, CA and a Master of Divinity degree with a concentration in Theology and Women's Studies from Princeton Theological Seminary in Princeton, NJ. Her studies have afforded her the opportunity to travel internationally to Peru, Chile, Mexico, Brazil, Uruguay, India, Cuba, Argentina.  She is currently an M.S.W. degree candidate at the Graduate School of Social Work at Rutgers University where her focus is on clinical social work and social policy, with hopes of working in black communities both domestically and globally.  Her broader interests include the intersection of pastoral counseling, womanist theory and spiritual autobiographical writing as a means of both worship and healing.

Monique's prior professional and community service experience includes over four years in immigration law at Fragomen, Del Rey, Bernsen & Lowey, LLP, interning with the United States Senate Health, Education, Labor &Pension Committee, and Sunda School Union in Tamil Nadu, India, volunteering with Camp Kilpatrick, a male juvenile detention camp, and PepReach, a college-prep mentoring program for inner city high school students in Los Angeles county; and church pianist at Bethany Missionary Baptist Church in Oceanside, CA. 

Since October 2012 Monique has served as the Program Coordinator for the Princeton YMCA's Y Scholars program, an extracurricular educational and team mentoring program which supports minority youth in the 5th - 12th grades.  She is currently a Youth Minister at Union Baptist Church in Trenton, NJ and a Social Worker Intern at Princeton High School where she was awarded a Princeton Education Foundation teacher mini-grant for curriculum she developed for an afterschool girls group.

Monique is Blessed Chix's newest contributor and she is already making a meaningful impact. Like us on Facebook to keep up with what she is doing in her ministries and read her blog posts here: 

To Everything there is a Season

TO EVERYTHING THERE IS A SEASON: ENDURING SEASONS OF DIFFICULTY

By Monique Jones

I walked in grief with a close friend who had recently lost her mother. She was turning 30, an age marking a period of life psychologists identify as the “age of transition.” She would now have to face life and all its vicissitudes without her mother. No longer able to tap into the wise counsel of her mother or to gather pearls of wisdom from a resource that at times knew her better than herself, my friend would have to transition into her own self-proclaimed womanhood without her mother.  She would have to claim herself while proclaiming her purpose, all this without a mother to share untold stories or lessons gleaned from living.

I felt like a spectator, standing on the sidelines of my dear sister’s tragedy. I would never quite fully understand what was going on inside the heart and mind of my friend.  However, I did recognize that this would be a season of change, a time of discomfort and pain: “to everything there is a season.”   

Careful to not use the often times more damaging cliché, “it all happens for a reason,” I walked in solidarity with her, offering an arm of comfort, an ear of compassionate listening, and my love: patient and free of judgment. Sometimes those walking paths of grief are not looking for answers, but simply an ear willing to listen to the sound of their heartbreak. And in the midst of this, I thought about the fact that change is inevitable.  Here, I was comforting my friend recognizing that as she approached the age of transition, the very world in which her changing life would be lived was shifting beneath her feet.  However, all of the pieces of her life that were connected to her mother that appeared to have been stolen away too soon, would eventually be seen as the pieces to a greater story that was still being written. 

"To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven: A time to be born, And a time to die; A time to plant, And a time to pluck what is planted; A time to kill, And a time to heal; A time to break down, And a time to build up; A time to weep, And a time to laugh; A time to mourn, And a time to dance...(Ecclesiastes 3:1-4) 

 The writer of Ecclesiastes speaks about there not only being a designated time for every delightful thing, person or activity, but a designated time to enjoy those very things as well.  So what does it mean when the very things that bring us joy are then taken away from us?  Many would suggest that this verse indicates that the pain of grief has a purpose and thus should give us hope.  However, I challenge that we expand to see that this verse may suggest more than that.  It means that hope is found in the idea that because God had already ordained the existence of this mother-daughter relationship and the exchange of love and delight that took place, that God is still in control even in the midst of all of the pain, anger, doubt or confusion.  Later, the writer states that God “has made everything beautiful in its time...[and that] no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end (Eccl 3:11)." Hope lies within the process of life’s pain and grief.  We have to believe that while god is still n control in every situation, there is beauty still yet to be found in our life, in our periods of transition, and out encounters with change.  That the very weight of death of a loved one speaks not to our inability to grasp an instantaneous understanding of the purpose of that death, but of the god-purposed beauty that will unfold through the very process of struggling with that weight.

To everything there is a season: "A time to cast away stones, And a time to gather stones; A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing; A time to gain, And a time to lose; A time to keep, And a time to throw away; A time to tear, And a time to sew; A time to keep silence, And a time to speak; A time to love, And a time to hate; A time of war, And a time of peace (Ecclesiastes 3:5-8)".  

There is a time to grieve and a time to celebrate, a time to laugh and a time to cry, but when it's all said and done, God will look upon you and still say, "it is good."  

Monique L. Jones, M.Div. is a mother, sister, daughter, teacher, advocate for women and youth, aspiring writer and public intellectual. Monique earned a Bachelor of Arts degree in Political Science and African American Studies from Pepperdine University in Malibu, CA and a Master of Divinity degree with a concentration in Theology and Women's Studies from Princeton Theological Seminary in Princeton, NJ.  Her Studies have afforded her the opportunity to travel internationally to Peru, Chile, Mexico, Brazil, Uruguay, India, Cuba, and Argentina.  She is currently an M.S.W. degree candidate at the Graduate School of Social Work at Rutgers University where her focus is on clinical social work and social policy, with hopes of working in black communities both domestically and globally.  Her broader interests include the intersection of pastoral counseling, womanist theory and spiritual autobiographical writing as both worship and healing.  

     

Featured Blogger: DEIRDRE SIMMONS

“We are only living fully if we are helping others “get to where they need to be…”

This week's featured blogger exhibits and lives by this personal declaration. Deirdre Simmons, PHR, SHRM-CP is a graduate of Purdue University with a B.A. degree in Organizational Communications with minors in Management and Supervision. She has also obtained her certifications in human resources and equal rights advising and is currently a graduate student at the UCONN School of Business in the MSHRM Program.  

Deirdre is the immediate past president for the Gateway Chapter of the Society of Human Resources Management garnering the Silver Award for Excellence under her leadership. She has worked with the health ministry, women’s ministry and as a missionary at St. Paul Baptist Church in Montclair, NJ.  Her mission trip to Ghana was one of her first true experiences in being able to shape the lives of youth: there were teenagers who were there to learn about both leadership and mission work.  Deirdre also served, at a Brooklyn church in the multi-media ministry, Griot (photographers), LinkedIn One-to-One Network (assisting congregants with their resumes, cover letters, other workforce readiness initiatives) and the youth ministry alongside her husband Chaplain Jerry Simmons.

It is with great pleasure to announce that she is operating in her gifts at a full-time role at Dress for Success Worldwide, as an HR Business Partner.  Mrs. Simmons has been a mentor, volunteer, graduation speaker and panelist for non-profits, has worked at Ford Motor Company, Bloomingdale’s and Kodak and is a business owner.  It is an honor to lend her views through the Blessed Chix blog and as a speaker for various community engagements.  She and her husband ask your support when you are planning your travel: visit www.castyournettravel.com for all your travel needs and for their non-profit.

Cast Your Net On The Right Side #NowWhat is a non-profit organization that provides a vehicle by which transformative experiences occur that educate, inspire and empower participants in such a way that we change the dynamics of relationSHIPS, marriage and the community at large. We engage men and women in the same space on domestic violence, finances, leadership & communication bonds, boundaries and beliefs.  

To learn more about Deirde Simmons' work, mission, and to be involved with her ministry please find, like, and follow CastYourNetOTRS on Facebook where you can learn about her event gatherings and annual relationSHIPS conference.

Since joining Blessed Chix as a featured blogger Deirdre has been a true advocate for reaching women through challenging and engaging narratives.  She also helps to keep our blog afloat with persistent encouragement and prayer.  Read her blog posts here: 

Ought

Accept Change and Slay 'Em 

Tree 

Featured Blogger: SIMONE OLIVER

“It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.”  This quote by Charles Darwin sums up Simone Oliver’s journey from tragedy to triumph, from victim to victor, and from surviving to thriving. Simone is a passionate preacher, educator, and advocate for women whose pragmatic, earthy style reaches the heart of an issue.  Simone is committed to the spiritual care of women and girls, bringing healing to their wounded hearts through God’s grace, and finding solutions to gender-based violence through prevention and awareness education. Simone is a gifted speaker/presenter in the areas of domestic and teen dating violence and serves as an advocate for safe churches and responsible ministry.

Simone has served as an educator in the New Jersey public school system and has an avid interest in reading and the power of language.  Simone was a featured educator on NJ Classroom Close-up for the award winning poem "My Captain" written by one of her students in her honor and was nominated to Who's Who among American Teachers for three consecutive years.  She is the author of From Grace to Grace: A Prayer & Healing Journal; a published poet and has written for Harriet and Blessed Chix blogs.  She currently facilitates the online Bible study: re-VISIONing Women of the Bible for Power, Purpose, & Impact.  

Simone is also Executive Director of New Day Ministries, Inc. which she founded with her husband, Allen, to combat gender-based violence and create safe sanctuaries in all churches.  She holds a Master of Divinity degree from Princeton Theological Seminary with a concentration in Women's Studies.  She is also a member of Church Women United and the Women of Color Network, but her greatest joy is life in Central Jersey with her husband and daughter.  

To learn more about Simone's work, mission, and to be involved in her ministries please visit New Day Ministries, Inc. and re-VISIONing Women where you can join her online weekly empowerment bible study.  

Simone Oliver’s contribution to the BlessedChix blog has proven to be challenging, heartfelt, and encouraging.  Read them here:

Uncommon Good 

(For)give Thanks!

Who Will Weep for Us?

UNCOMMON GOOD

by Simone Oliver

Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God. (Hebrews 13:16, ESV)

Well, it’s that season again.  Advent. It is that time when we reflect on the anxious anticipation of the birth of the Christ and what He means to the world (at least when we’re being really spiritual, we might J).  I wish I really spent as much time reflecting on the Christ as I did trying to figure out what to get my loved ones for Christmas.  But anyway… So I was doing what I do very well.  Online shopping!  I’m surfing and browsing, surfing and browsing and I run across a site called “uncommon goods” (www.uncommongoods.com) and believe it or not, that’s what prompted my reflection!  (Sorry, Jesus.) I began to think about the news.  The wars and rumors of wars.  The “T” word. (Terrorism.) State murders of the innocent. Corporate greed.  The exploitation of the poor.  The women and children who always seems to be the spoils of the war and all of that.  Hatred and racism.  Sexism and lust.  You know, all of the news that we have become so comfortable living with that we tune into prime time TV and watch it some more for entertainment and I thought, what if…

What if we, who call ourselves Christians, were less influenced by pop culture and more influence by Kingdom culture?  What would that look like?  I think that it would look like what has become uncommon good!  What if we carried our gifts every day and sprinkled them here and there and wherever our environment dictated?  We could give random gifts of kindness and gentleness on our way to work.  We could gift a troubled co-worker by picking up the slack till the storm is over.  We could give the gift of picking up a dropped coin for a stranger or stopping to chat a moment with the elderly.  And, what if we gifted a smile and an amiable look into the eyes of strangers on an elevator, affirming their humanity and worth?  Affirming that they too are made in Imago Dei?  What would happen if we spread the gift of uncommon good?  I think we would have a revolution!  What if we shared from our substance?  What if we committed to buying one meal per week for some homeless person?  What if we shopped for our elderly neighbor once a month?  Or, shoveled the snow, or cut the grass, or something?  What if we treated a woman in a shelter to a day at a salon or her children to Chuck-E-Cheeses?  These are the gifts that are never forgotten, the gifts that cost so little and mean so much. What if this year for Christmas, we gave some uncommon good?

Let us consider unwrapping ourselves from ourselves and the materialism that overtakes even the best of us.  Let us unwrap ourselves from self-absorption and the idea that if we are not happy, no one can be happy.  Let us unwrap ourselves from the constant desire for more because the eye is never satisfied.  Let us unwrap ourselves from the hatred that causes us to not see the humanity in others.  Let us unwrap ourselves and present ourselves as the gift.  The gift to be used by God for God’s good and God’s glory. Let us do some uncommon good.

                                                   

Simone Oliver has journeyed from tragedy to triumph, from victim to victor, and from surviving to thriving after a horrific, violent attempt to end her life.  She is a passionate preacher, educator, and advocate for women who is committed to the spiritual care of women and girls, bringing healing to their wounded hearts through God's grace.  

Simone is also Executive Director of New Day Ministries, Inc. which she founded with her husband, Allen to combat gender-based violence and create safe sanctuaries in all churches.  

New Day Ministries, Inc.
http://www.new-day-ministries.org
Safe sanctuaries. Healed hearts.

THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING

by Niki Wilson

1 Peter 4:10  Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.  (NIV)

Many of us are not strangers to the hustle and bustle that this time of year brings.  The festive decorating, merriment in the air, family gatherings, and of course the gift finding and giving permeates the atmosphere and it seems as if every waking moment is leading up to Christmas day.  Christmas in the United States has taken on a capitalistic attitude that focuses most on gift giving and receiving and most of us often miss the reason for the season.  JESUS.  I will admit that I am guilty of getting so wrapped up in getting the tree and finding the perfect gift for my love ones, and THEN taking time to remember that it is Christ who we are to celebrate.  When God presented the gift of Jesus to the Earth we all were given an opportunity to find abundant life and joy in Him.  Thinking of the life that Christ led in his humanness I realized that although He was a gift and never gave a wrapped one, Jesus was a gift giver.  He gave us the gift of peace, love, reconciliation, healing, forgiveness, purpose, life, mercy, prayer, wisdom, freedom, the Holy Spirit, and so much more.  Like Jesus, we also have gifts that are placed in us to share with those that we encounter.  Imagine if we would all take time to bless others with the gifts that God has placed in us every day of the year.  This can be prayer, an encouraging word, sharing wisdom… 

Taking the time to be a gift giver when the holiday season is over is not only pleasing to God, but we can be active participants in bringing the true love of Christ to our world that is in dire need of it.   Maybe you can share the gift of a smile, a listening ear to someone in pain, praying with your sister, or serving those in need.   Today I encourage you to think about what you can share with those that you meet to uplift them so that your presence and actions become a present to them.  Make this a habit.  With faith acts we can have CHRISTmas everyday and be a gift that keeps on giving.  Thank you for reading! 

Feel free to comment below or follow Blessed Chix for weekly readings.  In the meantime, love AND live.

Nikitia (creator-Blessed Chix-the blog)

Nikitia (Niki) Wilson believes in the power of storytelling.  She founded Blessed Chix to fulfill the call that God gave her to reach, encourage, and inspire women and girls through testimonies of overcoming the odds.   Niki has dedicated her life and ministry to creating a platform where women can share  with each other in safe, nonjudgmental, and “come as you are” environments in order to find fullness in life and in love.  She is happily married to her husband Rev. Eli Wilson, III and resides in Metro New York where she is a librarian.  

OUGHT

by Deirdre Simmons

Sometimes we have quirks that we don't realize. This can be because of our environment/upbringing, the influence of others, or just maybe it is the way we are hard-wired. It is the intricate nature of personality and psychology: ego, id, and superego. Some of the behaviors we have hold us back in our personal, professional and spiritual growth. Let's explore how I built a roadblock, what was needed to continue on the journey that God has for me, and why it matters.

Maturity and growth are dependent upon the ability to work through some adversity with grace while also being able to be open to see opportunities. The plan for my life often deviates from how I believe it ought to look; it usually won't come to fruition the way I think it will. The story of Joseph sets the stage for this example: when we have dreams God can and will fulfill them, just not always in expected ways. Joseph, the son born to Rachel and Jacob, a sheep herder and dreamer, had a dream of ruling over the land and the people, including his brothers. His brothers hated him for the dream and because he was their father's favorite son. His brothers at one point threw him in a pit: Joseph's path to greatness was met with twists and turns, adversity and snares. However, he remained faithful. He was true to himself and his God. In adversity he was strategic and recognized opportunity.  At one point he was thrown in jail and took the opportunity to share the gifts that God gave him regardless of the surroundings. When the opportunity arose he asked a new friend, a cup bearer, to remember him. His new friend would be in a position to get him to the next step in his journey. He could have dwelled on how he thought the fulfillment of his dream ought to have gone causing him to miss some lessons and blessings along the way. This story climaxes at the point where Joseph's dream of rulership comes true. At that point, he could have be mired in negativity, and reminded of how he ought to have been treated by his brothers and what they did instead. However, he showed love and kindness. This is an example of how what some mean for evil can be meant for good by God.

My story begins at a neighborhood church. They have an annual church production and I was invited to be a part of the production staff. I had some dreams of revamping processes and doing great things. Well, that experience didn't look like what I thought it ought… As I entered my new assignment, excited about doing ministry in a new way and giving my all to do kingdom work, I was met by adversity. One of the women, a church staff member and production team manager, was negative, rude and critical.  Her anger toward me was apparent, my very presence bothered her. It was adversity. Her personality and actions and subsequently, other leadership who seemed to condone the behavior and did not offer a place of love where resolutions and solutions are the norm was the pit in which I was thrown. In the most Godly and professional way that I knew how to respond, I addressed what I could, made it clear that God was my audience and I would not be deterred from my assignment. I sought out ways to excel at my assignment and improve processes. When the assignment was over, I had built up so much disdain for the production and some of the members involved that I vowed to never promote, be a part of or support the production in any form or fashion.  It wasn't what I thought it ought to be and I felt that there were people that didn't glorify God.

It was ok not to support and to not be a part of the process. It wasn't ok for me not to forgive the actions of others. It was wrong of me to label these people who I felt were wrong and who mistreated me. In your anger, do not sin. Ephesians 4:26 tells us that it's ok to be angry: the way we choose to respond should not be sinful. As I began to do ministry around relationships, the word from God about my journey was to bring men and women into the same space to improve relationships, receive instruction on financial intimacy, and dialogue about and give resources for domestic violence. It is a journey of transformation; it is empowering individuals, strengthening relationships and ultimately changing the dynamics and landscape of our communities. It was apparent that for me to do the work while harboring animosity would be fraudulent. It didn't matter that she didn't ask for forgiveness, I needed to release the anger and be obedient. "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and slander be put away from you along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." Ephesians 4: 31-32

There is a trusted elder who is also a Reverend: I asked that he be present because I wanted to have a conversation with this person. He agreed and was supportive. It was my posture to ask for her forgiveness since every time I saw her I labeled her as a spawn of satan and a member of the brood of vipers. My oughts of how she (and others) should have supported me, how "good" Christians are loving, kind and are joyous, and how leadership in the church ought to respond are irrelevant. In that moment and going forward, I focus on what God would have me to do. I am walking fully and wholeheartedly to be in this world but not of this world, I must live a life that is set apart and hold true to exemplifying the fruits of the spirit. Regardless of the oughts, I am the salt: I cannot forget it.  I was able to move forward and have a successful conference on relationships and empowerment.  And I am grateful for learning to be the example and forgiving as my Father commanded.

I challenge you to find the "oughts" in your life or the stumbling blocks that are not allowing you to forgive and replace them with the courage to forgive. It's ok to say, I'm sorry". It's ok to forgive people who haven't even asked. It is a healthy thing to forgive and focus on good and moving forward in the journey of blessings that God has for you. You will fill the dark spaces with love and joy.

Lastly, you can forgive you too…

Deirdre Simmons, PHR, SHRM-CP, entrepreneur, past president f SHRM Gateway, and most important role-wife, began Cast Your Net on the Right Side #NowWhat non-profit to bring a relationSHIPS dialogue to the community. This God-given vision provides biblically based practical instruction for men and women on everyday living while edifying participants.  There are 2 other business under the cast your net brand: Cast Your Net Travel and Smoove Stones.

This graduate of Purdue University is also an EEO Advisor, has a certification in HR and is currently enrolled at UCONN.

The former Deirdre Cash has been married to chef, trainer, chaplain, Minister Jerry Simmons for 6 1/2 years.  She has worked as a servant leader in several ministries however, wife is her first ministry.