(FOR)GIVE, THANKS!

by Simone Oliver

 “²⁶Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,²⁷ and give no opportunity to the devil.” (Eph. 4:26-27, ESV)

I love Thanksgiving!  Don’t you?  More than Christmas, more than Resurrection Day, Thanksgiving Day transcends religion, race, gender and all of the stuff the “isms” are made of.  Anyone and everyone can find at least one reason to give thanks.  BUT, Thanksgiving can also be a stressful, messy time for families.  A time when along with the turkey at the table, bad blood and bickering often take a seat as well.  Ever present and unresolved conflict seem to surface under the stress and tension preparing for family gatherings and holidays.  So along with saying, “thank you”, we may also need to say, “I forgive you”.

It seems that forgiveness is easier said than done.  It certainly is easier for some than it is for others.  Out of sight is usually out of mind so even when we think we have forgotten, old wounds can resurface in the presence of those we don’t see often and resentment can begin again.  Some people finding it easier to forgive than others is just an innate characteristic, but all of us have the capacity to forgive.  We can choose to make the mental shift in our thinking, being assured that for every commandment there is enablement. Making that choice allows us to develop genuine compassion for the offender(s) and make a conscious decision to trade our anger for peace.  It doesn’t matter how the offender chooses to respond or if s/he responds at all, our capacity to forgive and let go of anger and resentment affords us the benefit of being at peace with ourselves and with God.  It helps to realize how many times we’ve been forgiven by others and the atonement of Christ Jesus for our lives.  When we consider all that Christ has accomplished for us, then we must be mindful of how powerful and necessary forgiveness is for ourselves and for others.  There is nothing more humbling and gracious than to be offered forgiveness by one we have offended. The sense of peace and rest that is experienced is incredible. To know that what has been broken among siblings, friends, or neighbors is now fixed is a sweet gift.  However, there are some relationships that cannot and should not be restored.  The offense was so horrific that the relationship is irreparably broken.  Yet, even in this we are commanded to forgive.  The relationship may never be restored, but letting go of anger, resentment or the desire for revenge restores our peace and well-being.  If we believe in God’s unconditional forgiveness of our offenses, then we have wonderful point of reflection as we work to forgive other.  Sometimes, forgiveness is a process.  (For)give, thanks!

Simone Oliver has journeyed from tragedy to triumph, from victim to victor, and from surviving to thriving after a horrific, violent attempt to end her life.  She is a passionate preacher, educator, and advocate for women who is committed to the spiritual care of women and girls, bringing healing to their wounded hearts through God's grace.

Simone is Executive Director of New Day Ministries, Inc. which she founded with her husband, Allen, to combat gender-based violence and create safe sanctuaries in all churches.