A FRIEND TO LEAN ON

1 Thessalonians 5:11

Therefore comfort each other and edify one another, just as you also are doing. (NKJV)

A while back I had a conversation with a friend about an old issue that I dealt with more than ten years ago now.  While I was talking I could feel my heart racing, muscles tensing, and I even started to get a slight headache.  I thought that I was over that thing.  I believed for a decade that I had overcome the situation that had hurt me to the core.  Truthfully, I had not overcome my past and was living daily as if it did not bother me.  My friend challenged me on what I had done to overcome the issue and the best I could come up with was that I tried not to think about it and thought that time would heal the wound.  When hearing myself give this explanation I realized that I had done nothing to really get over my past.  I had not done any worthwhile work in overcoming my pain and this was evident based on the agitation I felt when talking to my friend.  Naively I thought that putting something in the back of my mind would make things go away.  Sometimes when we are so hurt we forget everything that we know about moving forward and letting go. But those things have a way of resurfacing when we least expect them to.

My good friend encouraged me to pray, forgive my offender, share the core of my pain to someone, and to release myself from the chains that had me bound with God’s help.  Receiving affirmation and support from my friend was the start of me truly overcoming my past so that I could build better relationships in the future.  God showed me through her that I deserved to be healed and would be if I truly sought it.  Proverbs 12:25 says that anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, but a good word makes it glad. (NKJV)  At one point I would not have considered my issue as one that added anxiety to my life, but thank God for my friend who gave me a good word and motivated me to recognize a hidden problem.

As women seeking fulfillment through Christ it is important for us to help each other.  We should be willing to be a shoulder and ear to our sisters in need, and be willing to receive a word of encouragement.  Support systems are a essential to spiritual growth.  Even Jesus had a support system in his disciples and others that helped his ministry move forward, and he was the ultimate example for how we should live in spirit and truth.  Consider your spiritual circle for a moment.  Do you have a prayer partner, someone you can confide in that is spiritually mature, or a friend that will give you a truthful and encouraging word when you need it?  If the answer is no, how can you start to build these kinds of connections?  If the answer is yes, reflect on how those relationships have helped you overcome a difficult circumstance.  These relationships should also be reciprocated so I challenge you to become one who uplifts someone in need with love, prayer, or an encouraging word.  I recently challenged myself on this and recognized that I have always had the support of women in the form of a mother, sister, grandmother, friend, and other mother-like figures.  This is what has helped me to survive some of my darkest days.  I needed them to lean on and thank God that they were willing to be that for me.  Now I need to work on being more of an encouragement to other women who may need to hear a good word from the heart and the Lord.  I want to also be a friend that others can lean on.

Bill Withers’s Lean on Me is perfect for this moment.  If you are not familiar with the song click the bold title link above  Enjoy! And thank you for reading.  

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In the meantime, love AND live.

N. Wilson

creator (Blessed Chix- the blog)

Nikitia (Niki) Wilson believes in the power of storytelling.  She founded Blessed Chix to fulfill the call that God gave her to reach, encourage, and inspire women and girls through testimonies of overcoming the odds.   Niki has dedicated her life and ministry to creating a platform where women can share  with each other in safe, nonjudgmental, and “come as you are” environments in order to find fullness in life and in love.  She is happily married to her husband Rev. Eli Wilson, III and resides in Metro New York where she is a librarian.